From reading the title of this blog post I’m sure you can infer that I am no longer going on the World Race. If not…now you know :). Allowing God to control our lives is truly nothing we expect it to be but we have to trust and know that He always knows best.
If you were to tell me two years ago God would put on my heart to become confirmed in the Catholic Church I would have said you were CRAZY. That’s me just being honest. This decision may seem like one that is spur of the moment but I can assure you it is not. It has consisted of following bread crumb after bread crumb for several YEARS. That’s what our walk with God looks the majority of the time…He gives us breadcrumbs on what our life will look like next but never reveals the full picture until we’re ready for it (it also tends to be at the most inconvenient times for our humanity). Life is constantly changing and so are we. Change is hard but is also where we build character, strength and most importantly faith. These past few years have felt like an emotional roller coaster (Mainly due to me trying to direct my own life instead allowing my Creator to take over). Change itself isn’t all that bad but the waiting time in between is what makes or breaks us. The waiting period can be quite dreadful if you let it and you’ll have feelings of stagnation, depression, anxiety and hopelessness which is where our enemy wants to keep us (I know from experience). BUT there is another way…if you truly surrender your life to Him it will be a time of peace, joy, supernatural love and the opportunity to become more intimate with your Creator. In turn, you will receive a feeling of freedom like no other…once your mind is able to even slightly grasp the concept that the Creator of the UNIVERSE loves you infinitely and has a plan and purpose for yes…even YOU. The choice is truly yours. He’ll always be there waiting for you to choose Him back.
Back to the whole becoming Catholic thing….The past few years I’ve been yearning to continue to deepen my relationship with Jesus but wasn’t sure what that looked like for me personally. A few months back, I was at a point in my life where I had no commitments or plans and decided to throw all options out there and see what came back to me. I ended up with two: the World Race or start R.C.I.A classes to begin to learn about Catholicism. Once I got accepted to the World Race, I figured that was my answer and began the training and fundraising process. During this process, I couldn’t deny this feeling of uneasiness about the trip but couldn’t differentiate if it was fear of the unknown or the Holy Spirit trying to tell me something. At the same time God kept bringing me experiences and conversations that had to do with Catholicism. So I spent these past few months in a perpetual state of confusion not knowing what all of it meant. I continued to pray for confirmation and guidance on what in the world I was supposed to do (Actually hoping for a direct audible “yes” or “no” from the heavens but that’s not how God works…I wish it was).
Almost to the end here bare with me…
So in order to clear my head and gear up spiritually for my trip I planned a trip to California to visit my spiritual mentor (my lovely aunt). She and my uncle were recently confirmed in the Catholic Church. Their testimonies have been a major catalyst in this story. A part of their new weekly routine as Catholics is daily mass so they insisted I should tag along. A combination of going to mass everyday and being around devout Catholic families made me feel an overwhelming sense of peace, love, and joy that I’ve never experienced before in my life. A feeling so beautiful I can’t quite put it into words. I felt like I was home at last…like this is how/where I was meant to be worshiping my King Jesus. Everything I had been experiencing years before all started to make sense…I now finally see what God is calling me to do next. I am very thankful for the time I shared with the World Race organization and the people I met along the way. I’ll continue to be praying for those continuing on the trip. I’m overjoyed and excited for this next chapter in life and can’t wait to see how God will continue to move in my life. Life with Him is a beautiful adventure that you can’t experience unless you choose Him back. Trust me…it’s well worth it.
